Birthday!

Firstly, I would like to wish a very happy birthday to David Roberts who shares his birthday with me today. Secondly, I often spend my birthday thinking about all the things I have achieved in life and all the things I haven't. On the whole, I think I have achieved many great things and am very grateful for all the things I have. Of course there are things I regret, such as my first marriage, my relationship with an idiot who left me when I was pregnant, bleaching my hair etc etc.

Lately I have been worrying about getting old. A wise man (David Roberts) told me to stop my whinging. I am not old. With age comes wisdom. I can't wait for the wisdom thing to kick in! I do not feel my age, I think I am in a time warp, mentally I still feel about eighteen.

I also want to celebrate being a Taurus. I know I am biased but the most interesting people I know are Taurus's. Us Taurus's are stubborn, feisty, dramatic, creative, loyal, paranoid, jealous, passionate. We enjoy our food and drink, we sometimes suffer with throat problems (this is all according to a book I have on starsigns).We are best suited in love to Capricorns or Virgos. We are loyal lovers and friends.

I am having a great day, the sun is shining and on Saturday my house will be filled with people dressed up as superheroes and villans.

Hope everybody has a great bank holiday xxx

A quickie

It has been so long since I blogged I actually forgot my password. I have missed blogging but in typical Vicky stylee I have been too busy. The problem with being busy is that I miss my favourite tv shows, get invited out to really cool places with cool people and have to say no, and my diet and my skin suffers like mad. I have been painting with white gloss most of the week, the damn stuff sticks to everything. I have it in my hair, on my face which has clogged my pores, on my nails and some how on my arse cheeks. I have absolutely no idea how I got it on my arse but since I have been working until the wee hours of the morning I think I may have fell asleep in the paint.

Next week I am moving, and somehow have to plan Uni work into that time. And then in 2 and a half weeks it is my birthday and I have to fit celebrations in too. And then in between that I start my work experience at a secondary school. I seriously am a nutcase. But I am an organised and motivated nutcase theres the difference. I can't wait to put pictures of my new house up soon. Never have I been so dedicated to a project before. I have found the perfect house and am busy printing my personality on every room.

My living room is black and white with bits of grey, with uber chic flowery wall paper on the main wall.

My hall has all my photographs across the wall with a 'home sweet home' canvas in between.


My kitchen is red and cream with retro wall art.

The conservatory is the kids playroom, they have a sofa and a desk for their drawing and colouring, and a TV and wii, PS3 etc.

My study (I have a bloody study woo hoo) has a red theme. Red rug, red curtains, red wall art, red filing cabinets.

My daughters room is a purple paradise with butterflies everywhere.

My sons room is blue with Thomas everywhere.

And well my room is the only room that has not been done, cos I can't be arsed yet. This is a future project.

Disneyland was fantastic. At times I got quite emotional, as I had always wanted to go to Disneyland when I was younger and it was such a great feeling to be able to take my own kids there. I wish we had gone for longer than three days because there was so much we didn't get to see and do.

I hope everyone is enjoying their break whatever it is you are up to. xxx

I know this girl

I know this girl who is very unhappy. On the surface she appears fine. She smiles, she laughs, she can be very confident and outgoing, but deep down she is terrified and confused. She doesn't want anybody to know so she pretends that everything is fine, she gets embarrassed that sometimes she can't cope. She organises every inch of her life just so she can control something, but she can't control the nagging thoughts in her head, the ones that tell her to change.

She is a wife and a mother. Every day when she wakes up she puts her mother head on and does motherly things. When she is with her husband she performs the duties of a wife. When she is at university she is neither a wife or a mother, for a few sweet hours she is just Vicky. She can be herself and it is great. She can talk about things that interest her with other people who are on the same intellectual level (most of the time their intellect is higher but still).

I do miss Vicky. She is here somewhere deep down. I like it when she pops up every now and again, when she is happy and when she smiles. Vicky has the balls to make decisions. The younger Vicky would do something about being unhappy. Young Vicky had fun last night. She laughed and danced and was blissfully happy. Today the mother and wife Vicky is back and feeling guilty for going out, and feeling bad about arguing with her husband. I suppose younger Vicky and new Vicky need to find an ideal balance.

Woah, this is a bit of an intense, weird slightly suicidle sounding post. I'm not suicidal, no need to alert the ambulance or anything. Maybe I'm still a bit drunk? Been a difficult day, and have a lot to think about.

Anyway, to all my uni friends I love you all, you make me feel like myself and I love that about you all.

These are a few of my favourite things

weird things you see in the street .......

Today's mood :( Been a day of ups and downs. Went to see the doctor today, not been feeling well for a while and been struggling a bit with anxiety so he gave me some 'magic pills'. I do not want to be a person who has to take magic pills, but unfortunately things have been quite shite lately.

Highs and lows of today,

Walking to the post office this morning I spotted something on the side of the street that looked like a black banana. It wasn't a banana it was a black dildo! It was extremely weird, and I do not know why it was in the street. Yuk. I consider this to be funny but gross, not quite a high not quite a low.

Went into uni and met Sanjay and Amy. Haven't seen Sanjay for ages around uni so it was nice to catch up with him. We had a coffee and a gossip, and it took my mind off things for a while.

Lows of the day have included feeling very sick, trying and failing to do uni work and feeling very bored. Also, one of my friends who I have been friends with since I was seven, is acting like a bit of a bitch lately and I don't know why. I could try and ask her what's going on, but I'm just not up for a confrontatial row at the moment. So I'm just gonna let it all blow over.

I think I may have started my nervous breakdown this week, so consider this post a warning lol. I might come into uni tomorrow wearing a tree costume or something equally as weird.

xxx

Is this ok for a haiku?

Ok I suck at poetry, and haiku's generally seem to be the easiest poems to write. They are meant to be about nature I'm told, but I wrote this, and I'm not sure if it makes sense :)

Trying to write a
good haiku, is like trying
to ski with no snow


Or what about this one

Being brilliant
does not come easily to some
but for me it does!

Yes I know I'm not brilliant, that was my attempt at irony

or this

this haiku would be
good, if it was longer but
I'm afraid it's not


last one

the jelly fish is
an amazing speices, in
lots of nice flavours.


Yeah, I guess they are all pretty bad. Back to the drawing board I think

xxx

The news at three - What VAJ has been up to

VAJ= Victoria Ann James. I can't be arsed to type today suffering with a massive hangover, so I'm just going to list stuff.

1) Got a placement at Streetly secondary school. Very excited, will be working in the English department helping those students who are struggling with their reading and writing. Had better buy some 'sensible' work clothes.

2) Got the tickets through for Disneyland Paris, only to find the dickheads that booked the holiday, have not put us as sitting together on the plane. Mmmmm, I'm sure my 5 year old will be fine sitting at the back of the plane on her own, while I sit somewhere at the front. I sometimes wonder if half of the population are brain damaged. Got to pay extra now so we can sit together. I want to do something very painful to 'Adam' You can use your imagination.

3) Started my dissertation proposal, took me about 8 hours yesterday, and it is still not finished. I really am confused about what kind of stuff I need to say in the proposal. I was so stressed out with it that I started to cry. It was ok though because I went out and got absolutely steaming drunk. I forgot about the dissertation for a few perfect hours. Now I am thinking about it again.

4) My best friend Craig came back for the weekend ( he lives in London) and we went out for drinks. Went to the Queslett pub for a bottle of rose, and 3 double vodka's and coke. And then I had a brilliant idea 'lets go to town and do some dancing'. So off to town we went. In every bar I kept saying 'we will go after this one' and then 'ok just one more but that's it'. It went on like that til 3.30 am. Then we had to go because I was sicking up in my mouth. Yummy. I really am the classiest bird you'll ever meet.


I'm Sure I have more news than that but, I need to get dressed. It's 3pm and I'm still in my dressing gown with mad hair and mascara rings around my eyes.

See you all my lovlies, be good xx